Shinigami's Merchandise
by cobalt kitty
Summary: Duo's bored. He decides to make merchandise and wants the other pilot's opinion.


Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. As much as I wished. Anyways, no sueing.  
  
Archived: Yume Maxwell-Yuy (www.geocities.com/maxwell_yuy2002/)  
  
Warning: Yaoi implied, but I think that anyone could handle it. Exclusive use of the word 'scythe'. NO Relena bashing. Wow. Mild Language. Fluff, humor. That's it.  
  
Notes: I was bored on my way to Kansas. What can I say? Well, I hope that you enjoy. This is just some fluff. Nothing harmful. C'ya at the bottom. BTW, I reuploaded this one too. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
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Shinigami's Merchandise  
  
  
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Duo walked into a random safehouse living room some where on the world. He spotted four other Gundam pilots spawled among the couch, floor, and where ever. Duo pulled out a black briefcase and placed it on a nearby coffee table that wasn't being   
occupied by any of the other pilots. A small click was heard as the brief case was opened.  
  
"Duo, what was you doing?" Heero asked for once not on his laptop.  
  
"Sharin' my ideas with you guys." Duo answered.  
  
"And what might that be, Maxwell?" Wufei questioned. Not really wanting an answer, but since he was bored cause he already polished Nataku 3 times, and worshiped, and no missions to be completed he really had nothing to do. Might as well listen to the baka.  
  
"My scythe merchandise!"   
  
"What?" All of the pilots asked.  
  
"Scythe merchandise." Duo repeated, "I figured that since I'm not makin' shit just by sitting on my ass like ya'll. So I would put my wits to a thought, and get something done. Besides, I was bored." He recieved an 'oh' from all of the pilots.  
Then Duo pulled out 4 objects that resembled rubberbands, He handed them to his companions. "I need you to look at them."  
  
Quatre, Trowa, Heero, and Wufei just stared blankly at the mysterious object in their hands.  
  
"What is it?" Trowa asked quizzically pinching the object with his index finger, and thumb.   
  
"It's a scythe hairband!" Duo exclaimed flashing his 1000 dollar grin.  
  
"Duo koi, this is just a scythe from one of your models, glued to a rubberband colored black..." Heero concluded giving it back to Duo.  
  
"Did you expect me to draw the scythe with a marker?"  
  
"Maxwell, what posessed you to make hairbands of all things? Only women use those." Wufei informed.  
  
"I use hairbands! I thought that mine were just too plain. I figured this would make them cooler!"   
  
"Ahh! Mine broke!" Quatre cried. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's alright." Duo said.  
  
"Yeah, my talented Duo can always glue scythes to a black rubberband any day." Heero commented to Duo.  
  
"Thank you veddy much Hee-chan, but it too me FIVE hours to make those!"  
  
"It took you 5 hours to glue scythes to rubberbands?" Trowa asked.  
  
"No...it took my my four hours and fifty-nine minutes and fifty-five seconds to find  
the glue, scythes, and the rubberbands. It took me 2 seconds to put them together and 3 second to dry."  
  
The other pilots just sweat dropped.   
  
"Well...NEXT product." Duo said as he pulled out two dangling objects.  
  
"What's that?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Scythe earrings. C'mon! Try them! They're clip-ons!" Duo said as he put one on Wufei and Heero. "There. What do you think?"  
  
"Hmm...these are more durable than the hairbands..." Heero replied.  
  
"Ow!" Wufei exclaimed wiping fresh blood off of his neck, "Injustice, Maxwell! You used REAL scythes for this! It just cut my neck!"  
  
"Well, what can I say? I ran out of model scythes!"  
  
"Ugh..." said Wufei as both him and Heero handed the dangerous earrings back to Duo.  
  
"Anou...next product!"  
  
"There's more?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Oh yeah..." Duo said in a deep voice. "I was REALLY bored..." Then he pulled out well- "Oops..."  
  
"What WAS that?" Trowa questioned.  
  
"Well...they WERE scythe boxers, but...I guess they're dust now!" Duo explained, and promtly threw the dust particals away. "Note to self: thermal scythes plus clothes are not a good combination. Anyways! Now...lessee...Ah ha! A scythe knife! Never dealwith dull edges again!"  
  
"I'm scared...hide me..." Quatre said and hid behind Trowa for protection.  
  
"This, you can turn on and off."  
  
"Has any of this been tested?" Trowa asked.  
  
"No, that's why you guys are here!" Moans were heard through out the room. Duo pulled out an object that looked like a handle only it had an on/off button, and a slit at the very top. "Now I'll demonstrate."  
  
Duo pushed the button labled on/off. A bright green flame appeared, popping through the slit on the top of the handle.  
  
"This will cut through any food in a matter of seconds...I think...observe..." Duo said. He put a random loaf of bread on the coffee table, then sliced it with the scythe knife.  
  
*BAM!!!*  
  
"Duo, you just sliced through the coffee table..." Quatre pointed out.  
  
"So I did...Well! Look how it cut the bread!" Duo said as they all looked at the smoking victim.  
  
"Duo, it's burnt to the crust..." Heero informed.  
  
"Not burnt, Heero, it's toast. See, toasting made easy to eat! To get my point made, I'll try it." Duo picked up half of the bread, and took a bite. Then spit it promtly out and made a gagging sound. "It's just *cough* well done...I don't think you should try it...*cough*...Next product."   
  
Duo reached for his briefcase that has recently found a new home on the floor. He pulled out something that looked similar to a cardboard scpulture with fringed edges. Just as Wufei opened his mouth Duo stole the words.  
  
"What is it? Well, it's a scythe pinyata!"  
  
"What's a pinyata?" Quatre asked looking at a meter long stick with a glowing blade at the top.  
  
"Something Duo's gonna be." Wufei answered.  
  
"That didn't help." Trowa replied.  
  
"A party item that you hang up, which in this case Duo, and hit it until the insides come out." Heero filled in.  
  
"Heero..."  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"I know, but unfortunatly for you, that's not true..."  
  
Choosing to ignore his koibito, Duo continued, "Anyways, it's a party activity. You fill this thing with candy, and take turns hitting it until it brust open. Here, you get to be the first to whack it." Duo stood up and hooked it to the ceiling. Then he gave Quatre a bat. "I already filled it up."  
  
"Okay." Quatre replied very meekly, and stood up to the scythe shaped 'pinyata'.  
  
Quatre, the poor thing, swung right at the supposively fake blade. His bat disentigrated before his eyes.  
  
"Hey! How am I suppose to break it if I can't even hit it?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Well, I thought that might be a problem, so I created the scythe bat!"  
  
"Duo koi-"  
  
"Shut up Heero, I'm alittle mad at you. You'll have to make it up to me ya know."   
  
Heero paled. Uh-oh...  
  
"Ahem...about the scythe bat?" Trowa asked as Duo pulled out a handle similar to the scythe knife, but rounder, and bigger. Duo activated it, and a green well-rounded blade appeared.  
  
"That looks like a light saber." Wufei said, but was intentionally ignored by Duo.  
  
"Try beatin' the shit outta it now Q." Quatre took the light saber dealy, and swung it at the 'pinyata'. "Well?"  
  
"Duo, I can't even finish my swing...it's stuck in the blade!"  
  
"Hmm..." Duo said examining to situation. Just then, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia ran in.  
  
"See Leia! I TOLD you that a stupid girl stole my light saber!" Luke said pointing to Duo, and snatching his beloved weapon from Quatre.  
  
"Alright! Alright! Sheesh, let's get outta here!" Leia cried as Duo turned to them.  
  
"Oi! I'm not a girl! And Han Solo said I could use it!" Then when Luke and Leia were out of sight, he turned his attention back towards the pilots who just stared at him.  
  
"Duo..." They said in a low growl.  
  
"Anou...old habits die hard?"  
  
"Duo, please tell us that's the last of it." Quatre pleaded.  
  
"Well, that's the last of my SCYTHE merchandise...if that's what you're askin'."  
  
"What do you mean?" Heero asked.  
  
"That was the first on my list."  
  
"There's STILL more?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Hell yeah. I was really bored..." Duo said in his deep voice again.  
  
"What then?" Trowa asked. Not really wanting to know, but since this was Duo...He would make SURE that they saw everything. So basically there was no way out.  
  
"Gundam pilot cooking utensils!"  
  
Groans were heard as Shinigami pulled out a Heero spoon.  
  
  
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owari  
  
  
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Hope you like it. I was bored myself. BTW, excuse my spelling errorz. 


End file.
